the real me

Things that make my life happy:

Well manicured nails
A pair of nylons actually lasting a day
Clorox Bleach Spray
Vaccinations
The bottom of a fry box from a chip truck with all those little crispy bits
Dancing in my kitchen when I’m cleaning my counters (with Clorox bleach spray)
Hugs
Cheese
Strangers who like to talk in line at a grocery store, in a food court, in a hospital waiting room, etc.
My parking spot remaining free. Same goes for whatever table I prefer in a fine dining fast food restaurant.
Coffee. Coffee with friends. Coffee with strangers. Coffee alone. Coffee in the car. Coffee at funerals. Coffee at children’s play places. Coffee anywhere.
Photos of people’s food
Selfies
People who respect the importance of grammar.
Off colour, potentially offensive humour.
Cribbage.
Things that scare me:

Outer space
Butterflies
Horses
Death
Flip phones
Motorcycles
People that claim to truly love salad

Things that make me cry:

All things nostalgic
Embalming fluid
Wind
People who buy things full price
Low fat sour cream
The baby aisle in the grocery store
The scale
A eulogy that I can relate to.

Things that I love to do:

Spend hours and hours reading quotes
Arrange funerals.
Organize & clean the fridge’s of friends
Watch Days of our Lives and see how productive I can be during a commercial
Alphabetize things
Talk on the phone. All day, any day, with (almost) whomever.
Meet new people.
Did I mention meet new people?
Write.
Count calories (I didn’t say it was a healthy love)

Things I like to eat:

Cheese.
Anything on an antipasto tray
Tacos.
Pizza.
Fried Eggs with toast and butter
Nachos
Anything that once lived underwater
Blueberries.
Crispy bacon
Shreddies

Things that I cannot do:
Dance
Forgive (I know, I know – it’s terrible – I get it)
Bake with a recipe
My hair – I just can’t be bothered with anything other than a hat, down or a ponytail.
Sit cross-legged
Meditate.

Some wonderful things about me:
I have an insane work ethic
I’m loyal, to my own detriment sometimes. I’m working on that.
I am a ninja in the kitchen.
I give wonderful hugs.
I helped make two social, kind, curious and smart little girls.

Favourite quote:

“Be true to your employer, your friends and your word.”